Living in Chicago, one of the most expensive and desired commodities is space. It’s not as expensive as it is in Manhattan, but it’s close enough for me to not want to live in New York. Parking spaces are one of the most expensive commodities in the entire city. Take the recent hikes in metered parking prices and the cost of a deeded space in Chicago, $30,000 in a nice condo building [that's only if the building management doesn't lease spaces at an inflated rate].

The North Side of Chicago is the worst place to be in need of a parking space. You can drive around for 30 minutes before conceding to the inevitable [you're going to have to walk half a mile or more from where you parked]. There is an abundance of parking lots that are empty each and every night during off-peak hours that threaten towing to unauthorized vehicles. So, why not authorize people, just for the night?

The weekend visitors and commuters that want nothing more than to get in their home without playing Where’s Waldo [Parking Edition] at the end of the day would gratefully pay a small fee to park in said lots until the morning. An even happier group, towing companies would be obliged to take any late starters out of the lot when regular business hours resume. A cheap gate and pay stations would allow the business owners to make money while they slept and towing companies to get it when they wake up.

So, someone needs to code a simple program that tracks how many pages are printed by all of a particular company’s employees. The requirements couldn’t be more simple:

• Maintain the privacy of the participating companies
• Track the statistics daily and present accolades
• Post stats that put it all in perspective [e.g. X number of trees saved by company A]
• Build on the original service offering
• Incorporate advertising and marketing consistent to the competition on the website

So, why aren’t there applications for making bottle service reservations or that tell you how long the wait is to get into your favorite night spots? It would also be helpful to know if there are any drink specials or if it’s invitation only so you don’t waste precious time going somewhere you’ll be turned away. I think this would make a great app for any phone or a simple site you could check. Club promoters could also use this as a medium to advertise events.

So, I would love it if someone would start an airport coat checking business. You give your return date, and your coat is waiting for you in the airport when you return. Two people could man this kiosk at the heaviest times, especially if it is set up like the automated check-in stations. Enter your name and return date, swipe a valid credit card, handover your coat, and receive a coat check ticket. An online component for drop-off and arrival updates would only enhance the service that much more.

The makeup of a dry erase marker consists of a plastic shell, ink, a felt tip, and a cap. 50% [the shell and cap] of the marker is guaranteed [barring abuse] to last significantly beyond the life of the ink. That 50% most likely makes up the majority of the production cost.

So, why not institute a discount incentive for returned shells and caps? Production costs decrease, and revenue is sure to increase for the first manufacturer to adopt this policy. A 3rd party firm could even enter this market and possibly become an attractive business for purchase.

Or create an apparatus that eliminates the need to repurchase empty shells? Packets of tip replacements and ink would cannibalize a portion of marker sales, but production costs still decrease. And who wouldn’t rather just refill the marker while in the room than go rummaging through drawers and supply cabinets? Problem solved.

A simple solution would be to pretreat all of your shirts when you take them off. Simple, but not always feasible, and it is reactive instead of proactive. I don’t know of any products out that serve this purpose specifically, but there are a few ways one could go about solving this problem:

• Low tack adhesive on one side, non-irritating barrier [cloth or plastic] on the other
• Non-stick spray with similar properties to Teflon®

If you run with this one, be sure to send me a sample.

So, I might be instituting a new policy when I go ‘handle some company business’. And that is to bring some ear plugs to the bathroom. I’m sick of hearing the following:

1. Grunting accompanied by multiple bellowing farts
2. Turds with terrain that sound like muffled farts when the peaks and valleys break the butthole barrier
3. The jerk on the phone talking like everyone in the other stalls can’t hear him
4. Hacking coughs and the poor guys with prostate issues that peed like sprinklers

Check back for updates on the list and feel free to use this idea.